I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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