we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
