I love black thongs
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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