OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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