At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
