Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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