I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
