porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
