If that was your dad, he is hot
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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