For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
