Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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