That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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