A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
