hotel room ftw
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
