Your face is a jimmy john
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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