piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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