she was so not down for the gang bang
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
