escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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