I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
