just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
