he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
