we should wear snuggies to the strip club
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
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He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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