Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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