I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I have aggressive nipples.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
