His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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