this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
my shit smells like andre
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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