I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
