I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
