if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
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Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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