conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
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