guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
