I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize