I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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