Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize