i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
