Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
