I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
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She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
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The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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