coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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