hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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