Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
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She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
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This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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