i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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