Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
