I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize