she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize