we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I need to calm my uterus...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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