Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
