If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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