have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
