i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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