strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
