my sisters under your porch take her home
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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