I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize