The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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