The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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