Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
