We won't sleep together?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize