What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize