That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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