Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
